Woah! Not Ready for 13...Look Out There's a Teenager in the House!

Richard turned 13 on February 12th.  I am so not ready to have a teenager living in the house with me.  I don't feel old enough to have a teenager and 13 means I really only have a say for another 5 years.  Time passes by so slowly sometimes yet so quickly at other times.  I expect a lot from Richard, and for the most part he delivers.  He has finally taken an interest in his grades and frequently stays after school to bring his grades up.  He is a great big brother and cousin most of the time and continues to keep us all on our toes.  His favorite sport is the sport he's playing at the moment.  He puts everything he has into whichever sport it is (and must have ALL of the necessary equipment needed).  Although this past year has been rocky at times between us, I love him dearly.  My favorite trait of his is the fact that he will not back down to ANYONE.  No matter if they are bigger or older...if you are a U of U fan, you'll hear about it.  While standing in line to ride Matterhorn in Disneyland, out of the blue he looks at some random guy in his twenties two rows away and yells,"I hate Utah". I am certain that everyone around us thought he was crazy, and rude. I know it's just his personality so usually I let it go.  The guy was a good sport and they bantered back and forth for a bit.  He goes out of his way to be friends with everyone, especially if they don't have any friends. Although I was not sure how he would do in Jr. High, he has done great socially...academically we're still working on.  Every one of his teachers said the exact same thing.  He has a lot of friends in this class and he talks a lot and has a hard time focusing on what we're doing.  Yes, that's my Richard!  Happy Birthday Richard!  Here's to another great year.

Merry Christmas 2010

This year has once again brought many fun and exciting adventures for our family.  Here are just a few of the highlights for 2010.
Richard turned 12 in February and received the priesthood.  I am a proud mama every Sunday when I see him dressed in his suit passing the sacrament.  I need to try and remember that during the week when I’m not so proud!  He is a 7th grader at Lakeridge Jr. High and loves the freedom it brings.  I have decided that his academics are his business and he is in charge of making sure his homework is done.  It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Richard played Lacrosse during the summer, Football in the fall, and now he is wrestling.  His football team took the championship of their division and never lost a game.  He had a great set of coaches including Merrill as the head coach.
Riley turned 10 in June and realized the dream of his life when he and Richard bought a dog together they named Cali.  She was strictly an outside dog and I was assured when we got her that she could stay outside all year long.  Then it turned cold and the shivering began.  She now sleeps with Riley every night curled around his feet.  Riley is in 5th grade at Noah Webster Academy and loves his teacher Mrs. Roden.  Riley also played Lacrosse and Flag Football.  He also had great coaches including Merrill as his Lacrosse coach.  His Lacrosse team only lost one game and his football team won every game.
Lindsay turned 8 in February and was baptized in April.  She is the busiest girl I know.  She is on an all star competition cheerleading squad who won the national championship title in February.  She is also on a company dance team, and takes piano lessons.  All this in addition to all of her homework every night makes me re-think everything she is involved in.  Merrill thinks we should put her on a ski team, but I don’t know where we would find the time.  She loves every snowstorm we receive because she knows it means skiing at Park City will be coming soon.  Lindsay is in 3rd grade at Noah Webster Academy and is an absolute social butterfly.
Merrill is working at Aquaveo in Provo taking care of their computer system.  He is currently serving as a Gospel Doctrine teacher in our ward…a calling he loves.  I can’t think of anything that I would rather do less.  Merrill has also written a few children’s books that are really great.  He is a great writer, teacher, coach, father and husband and we are lucky to have him take care of us.
I am living the retirement program Merrill has been selling me all of these years…and it is GREAT!  For the first time in my life, I LIVE for Monday…when everyone goes to work and school.  I truly love my family, but it’s nice to have a break.  I am serving in our ward with the Young Women as the Mia Maid advisor and I love it.
As we look forward to a New Year we are excited to face the challenges that will surely come.  We feel so blessed to live near family and friends and to be able to call such a beautiful area home.  We love you all so much.
Merrill, Andrea, Richard, Riley, Lindsay and Cali

Double Digits for Roodle Doo

Riley hit the big 10 on June 1st!  He is the sweetest boy I have ever known.  Even when he is upset with me, he'll get angry and say something he shouldn't and immediately comes to apologize for his words, with tears in his eyes.  

This year for his birthday all he wanted was a dog.  What he got was money.  Which he then used to purchase said dog with Richard.  They named her Cali, and they love her dearly.  It is so cute to have Riley run into the house after being with her and tell me how cute she is, and how much he loves her.  It reminds me of a new father.  Every little thing she does is so cute to him!  He tells me he loves her almost as much as he loves me, so I know he must love her a lot.  It has taken me some time to get used to having a dog, but I actually like having her around.  In the morning I'll find her outside his window watching over him.  I like to let her wake him up by licking him.  He loves it, and it makes for a happy morning. Other than the morning wake up call, she is an outside dog, which suits me fine.

Riley played lacrosse this past Summer and is now playing flag football, and loves them both.  He is so fast and squirrely it's fun to watch him play.  I dread the day when he'll want to play tackle football, but I know it's coming.  

Riley has a love of reading and over the summer read all 5 of the Percy Jackson series books...TWICE!  I could usually find him curled up in his bed reading in the middle of the day, oh the life of Riley!   

Riley is also my best student.  He does his homework at school or immediately when he gets home from school.  He is a man with a plan, according to the list he made:

1-get straight A's

2-go to BYU

3-go on a Mission

4-get Married in the Temple and have kids

5-become a heart Doctor

6-retire by 30 (we've talked about that one, he'll be lucky to be out of school by 30 so he's changed it to 40)

It is hard to imagine what life would be like in our family without Riley.  I am so proud of the young man he is becoming, and I am going to enjoy watching his journey through life.

I love you dearly Riley.  Keep being sweet.

Nine Words Women Use

1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2)FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3:NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4)GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!!
5)LOUD SIGH:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6)THATS OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7)THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.(I want to add a clause here-This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot"-that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome", that will bring on a "whatever" )
8)WHATEVER: Is a woman's way of saying "UP YOURS!"
9)DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

It's Great to be Eight

My Baby Girl is 8!

I tried to hold my eyes open...but they blinked and my baby is now 8 years old! Lindsay is the light of my life. When I was growing up (and acting like a teenager) my mom used to tell me that she hoped I got a daughter exactly like me, which I would reply that I hoped so too because she'd be perfect! Little did I know that I would in fact be blessed with a daughter exactly like me, and what do you know...she's PERFECT! Now I'm the one who's no longer perfect. Lindsay is great at everything she tries, and is sadly my most athletic child. Her cheer squad won first place at the National Championships which was really exciting, and everyone who has seen her ski tells me after watching the Olympics that she's going to be an Olympic skier. I have no doubt that if that is what she chooses to do then she'll do it. She has a stubborn streak (dare I say) worse than mine if you can even imagine that. She loves to shop with me, work with me, and just be with me and I love her to pieces. I am so happy to have her sweet little spirit in our home. Happy Birthday Lindsay Lou Who, I Love YOU!!!

12 on the 12th

It is really hard to explain how in the world I have a 12 year old. It's true, my little boy is 12 years old and getting ready to receive the Priesthood. I hope I can sit through the Sacrament without giggling. Richard is...Richard. What more can I say. To know him is to love him...or not, depending on who you are. With him it's all or nothing and anything I say does not sway him in the least! He has a brilliant mind which he occasionally decides to use. I wish I knew how to channel it in the proper direction. He loves playing any and all sports and is enjoying scouts. He is the only Deacon in our ward...surrounded by girls. Merrill keeps telling him that in a few years he'll like that, but for now not so much. He does list himself as "in a relationship" on face book which is so funny to me. I love teasing him about it, and in all honesty, I am actually impressed with this girl (not always the case). I don't think I am prepared to raise a 12 year old boy. I catch myself biting my tongue A LOT lately and it's still not even close to enough. Is there some sort of group I can join for having a 12 year old boy? For the first time in my life I get Beavis and Butt-head. He's got the same little laugh they had going on and he's never seen it. I never knew boys actually acted like that in real life...they do! Please pray for me, I have a feeling I'll need it over the next several years. Happy Birthday Richard. I truly love you more than you know.

Strut Your Style All Stars

Lindsay has been part of this cute little cheer team for the past year and now all of their hard work is paying off! Yesterday they had a regional competition in Riverton and took First Place! I am so proud of all of these kids, they did so well. California here we come for Nationals!

What a Legacy

My children have been so blessed with 2 sets of grandparents and 2 sets of great grandparents who all live fairly close (no matter the "address" my parents pretend to have ;) I know how unique and lucky this is for them, and I am quite sure they know how lucky they are. When Merrill and I were dating I lived with my Grandpa and Grandma Herbert and I loved every minute of time I spent there. Merrill spent a lot of time there with me and fell in love with the neighborhood while driving to pick me up and decided to buy a home in the same ward they live in...twice! I am not going to go into how I feel about that right now, but one of the very best blessings that has come from that is the opportunity for my children to get to know their great grandparents and see them every week. If you know them, you know how special they are. They are very different from each other, but I love them both very much and I am so grateful for the time I spent living there getting to know them. Grandma is one of the most positive people I know and I absolutely love her personality. I'll ask her how she is doing and she says,"I can't see out of this eye, but it doesn't hurt so I can't complain. I can't drive...but I don't like to anyway so that's okay." My Grandpa on the other hand is very straight forward and to the point. He has never been one to be especially "friendly", but I always knew he loved me. He has ALWAYS done the right thing, even when it was not especially "popular" to do the right thing. I can remember years ago someone telling me that my grandpa had called the city to report them as renting illegally. I could not believe he would do something like that so I told them that I was sure he had not done that and then I called him to verify that I was right. As it turned out I was wrong! I could not believe it, how embarrassing, these were neighbors, I was her visiting teacher, how could he do that? Then he explained to me why he had done it, and instantly I knew he was right, and I totally supported him in what he had done. He has been fighting bone cancer for about 3 years now and while earlier this year he had been given a clean bill of health, the cancer has come back and is quickly killing him. He had intensive treatments the week before Christmas to try and stop the cancer. He was released on Christmas Eve, and we were able to have our family Christmas party with him. What a treasure it was to have him there.

The party is usually at his home, but this year because he needed to be within 15 minutes of the hospital, we had it at the Governors Mansion. At the end of our program he said a few words which were priceless, but the one thing that stands out to me is this,"put the past behind you and look forward to the future, forget about the mistakes you have made and move on." I'm sure that's not exactly what he said, but that's what I heard. He's very ill now with RSV and has been at the University Hospital since the week of Christmas. Merrill and I went to see him last night and I know his days are numbered. I will miss seeing him every Sunday at church. One day he told me (after I had not been to church)," we don't go to Church for the people, we go for ourselves, we go to learn how to be better people". He was full of love for the gospel, and spent his entire life serving everyone around him, and I am so grateful that I lived close enough to see it first hand. I hope he is able to come home, even if it's to die, so my children are able to say goodbye to a man who has played a role in their life and been such a good example to them. In November, he called and said he had 1 extra ticket to a BYU basketball game and asked if anyone wanted to go with him. Merrill had been planning on taking the boys and we already had 2 tickets so he was just going to buy another ticket at the game. I asked Richard if he wanted to go with Grandpa Herbert and at first he didn't want to go, but with a little coaxing, he went. What a treasure for Richard to have been able to spend that time with him one on one. I consider living so close to him all of these years a gift, and if nothing else good has come from it at least my children have known their great grandfather and for that I have to be glad. If you want to read a great article about him, click on "What a Legacy" at the top of this post.

Goodbye grandpa, I love you!

I'm in LOVE

Is it really so bad to be in love with your car?

The more I drive this little beauty, the more I love it!

I know...STUPID. But I still love it!

Happy New Year

2009 has been a great year for our family! A few years ago I decided not to write a Christmas letter to send with our cards and today I realized there were events that I could not remember when they happened because I had not been writing my yearly catch up letter. So in an attempt to "remember" what has happened this past year I am going to journal it here.

Merrill started a new job that he is really enjoying, and I am really getting used to having some security. He works for Aquaveo in Provo as their IT Manager. He is back to working 3 jobs during the ski season and we'll see how that turns out. It's usually not too bad, we still get to see him every evening. I'm not sure how much he loves teaching/babysitting kids at Park City Mountain Resort, (he says he does a lot of counting to what ever number of kids he has on that particular day) but I know he is great at it and we enjoy the season passes it provides our family with each year. Our kids LOVE to ski, and can now ski any run at PCMR. Lindsay tells me I need lessons.I don't like to ski with them because it is so hard for me to keep up, and a little terrifying to watch your 7 year old race her brothers down the mountain. I panic when I can't see my kids, thinking about every bad thing that could happen to them. This panic happens a lot when we ski together so I don't go as often as they do...for my sanity. Merrill has also been writing children's books. Paint the U Blue was his first one and the newest one is The Magic Pencil. They are both great stories and it has been fun for me to see him do something I had no idea he could do. One of the things I love the most about Merrill is his willingness to do whatever is asked of him, for instance, he is still the "physical facilities manager" in our ward...which means he's the janitor. My sisters and I get a good laugh about that one when we talk about it, but he is really good at getting it done, even when people who are suppose to show up and help don't. He even does it without complaint! (something I could learn a thing or two about) Merrill takes his responsibilities very seriously no matter what the situation. You'll notice that our Christmas card this year does not have the usual family photo...instead, just the kids. That's because he had an emergency at work and missed family pictures. I'm still a little angry about that one, but I do admire his work ethic and I hope his boss does as well.

Richard is almost 12 and I am quite sure I'm not old enough to have a 12 year old. Richard is all about whatever sport he is playing at the moment. During the early part of the year he played basketball, he was on the swim team at Riverside and also played lacrosse this past summer, and played tackle football this past fall. I have decided that lacrosse is my sport of choice! It's violent enough for him, not too violent for me, and great exercise. Plus it's really fun to watch. Richard is just as lively as ever and when you talk to him it's hard to remember that he's just 12. He loves to read, and is really smart...if only he would decide to apply himself. Putting his name on his papers and turning them in is "busy work" to him and he really doesn't care if he gets an F. We're trying to get him to learn to be responsible for his own grades, which is proving to be harder on me than him. I have to fight the urge everyday to ask (nag) him about his homework and grades. Maybe this is a lesson I need to learn!

Riley is 9 and he is as sweet as ever. He has the same school teacher that he had last year Mrs. Bevan and we all love her! She has also lived in our ward so it has been double the fun. She pointed out that he is an angel in her classroom...but in primary when Richard is there, they play off of each other and he's not so well behaved. I wonder what I'm going to do about that. Maybe it will solve itself when Richard moves up to Young Men. Riley still wants a dog...and I still don't think I can handle that. He is also loves to read and is smart...and also does not always put his name on his papers and turn them in. However, in his case, I really think he forgets. He gets good grades and loves school. Riley also played basketball, participated in swim team, lacrosse and flag football. He enjoyed every minute of playing time and made sure to let us know if he did not get to play as much as someone else on the team. He's all about the "fairness" of everything. How do you teach a 9 year old that life is never going to be fair?

Lindsay will be 8 in February and is really looking forward to being Baptized this spring. She is still dancing at Jive and absolutely loves every second of it...especially when she gets to perform in front of people. I don't know where she came from! I can't think of anything I like to do less. Lindsay is also on a competitive cheer squad, something I never thought I'd see her do. She has gotten really great at tumbling and really loves doing it. They are going to compete at the Nationals in Anaheim this February and we're all excited about that. Other than loving the spotlight, she is mini me and I love it! She likes to do anything and everything I like to do...especially shop. She reminds me every so often that she is the only cousin without a sister. I feel a little guilty about that, however I can't think of a worse reason to have another baby so she'll have to make due with me. She is my most athletic child and is great at whatever she tries. Merrill likes to tell her that she'll be in both the summer and winter Olympics. I hope he's planning on getting a few more jobs! She is very competitive and does not like to get passed while skiing. Early this past year she was skiing with my brother and they were racing. She needed to use the bathroom, but would not stop to go...instead she thought it would be a good idea to put her ski pole between her legs to "hold it". Lets just say it was not a good idea and she ended up with stitches somewhere she should not have. I think she's learned her lesson.

I stay busy driving kids around to various activities. My life is different now because the "retirement program" Merrill has been selling to me all of those hard years when my kids were young is now here. I have the whole school day to myself...and I love it! Things are still hard in different ways (mostly emotional), but I love the ages my kids are at right now. I am thinking about going back to school, or working a little more, so we'll see what 2010 brings for me. I am still keeping Sweet Baby Beads alive...but just barely. I am so sick of it that I don't give it the effort I should. We just bought a new car so maybe it's time to pick things back up again so I can pay for it! Today I was released as the enrichment leader and called to be the Mia Maid advisor and I could not be more excited. I have never had a calling in the Young Women program, but have always wanted to have one. When I was pregnant with Riley I was asked to be the girls camp director for our ward. I knew I was pregnant and would be delivering a baby 2 weeks before girls camp but we had not told anyone yet about the baby. I explained to the counselor the situation and he decided that it would not work. I was sad to not have that calling, but I am going to get my chance now and I can't wait.

Life is good for our family and as my grandma Herbert would say "I can't complain". The struggles we face are nothing compared to what others face. I truly believe that my Heavenly Father loves me and my sweet family and he will never give us anything we won't be able to bear. I love each member of my family so much that there don't seem to be the right words to express it. Each one of them teaches me in a little different way how to be more Christlike and I love them dearly for that. I am thankful that they are willing to put up with me and truly love me completely. I am also thankful for the relationships I have with each of you reading this. You brighten my days without even knowing it. Thank You! May 2010 be a wonderful year for us all.

Merry Christmas

50 Life Lessons

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Written by Regina Brett

Thankful Thursday

I just found this gem on someones blog

while I was "blog stalking".

I don't know her, but I already like her!

Today I am thankful that I am NOT ALONE

in this job called motherhood.

It's nice to be able to laugh with other women who face the same struggles I find myself facing on a daily basis.

Rules of Mommy Hood

I have come to learn with being a mother that there are certain tricks, rules, if you will of nature. I have listed some choice rules in our house below:

• The Rule of the One Messy Room- at no one given time may all rooms within the household be entirely orderly. One room must take the fall... usually mom's room.
• The Rule of the School Aged Child- you will never be able to wake your child early enough to avoid: the morning rush, banshee screaming/yelling, slow eating, lost shoe.
• The Rule of the Toddler- this child must act like a blender with the top removed especially at: the grocery store, the toy store- heck, any store...
• The Rule of the Teenager- anything a parent states must result in rolling of the eyes and a muttering of some sort. In most cases the uttering resembles, "whatever..."
• The Rule of the Laundry- it shall never, ever, ever, ever, ever be done
• The Rule of the Dishes- *see rule of laundry above.
• The Rule of the Potty- no matter how many times a child uses the restroom before an outing, once leaving the threshold of any given residence, will need to use the potty immediately. This rule is usually most in use during car rides when the nearest restroom is either at least an hour's driving distance or filthy beyond all reason.
• The Rule of the Ratio- 50:1 amount of time it takes mom to clean a room to how long it takes to be completely unrecognizable i.e. trashed.
• The Rule of the Food- only the food on mom's plate is desirable, even if it is the exact same food on everyone else's plate.
• The Rule of the Good Book- a child is equipped with ultrasonic hearing in that a page ruffle or spine crack of a good book is heard at distances between 2 and 40 meters from reading site. The child has two choices at that point: make trouble or play shadow.
• The Rule of the Toothpaste- a child may never leave more than 30% of current toothpaste in tube remaining in the tube.

Happy Happy Birthday Merrill Dear...

Happy Days Will Come To You All Year! I know I'm slightly late posting this, but as I like to say "a little late, but worth the wait". Merrill turned 44 this year but is still as young at heart as he was the day I met him...maybe more. Merrill is just like a teenager in lots of ways. One of his favorite things to do is long board down Provo Canyon and I think he'd do it everyday if he had more time. Most men his age spend time at the golf course, but not Merrill. His favorite pair of shoes are his Heelys much to my dismay. I HATE those shoes and he is not allowed to wear them when he is with me. He says he "speed shops" with them at Costco and I keep waiting for them to kick him out. He coached Richard's lacrosse team and Riley's flag football team and I loved watching him with those boys. You might think someone who never played lacrosse would not be able to coach, but no one else would do it so he did. Not only did they have the best team, but I think they had the most fun. Merrill is always willing to help whenever needed which I love and hate. Sometimes I can be so selfish! Merrill is also honest to a fault, another trait I love and hate. The one thing I adore most about him is that he lets me be me, and supports the things that I feel strongly about even when he doesn't really want to. Happy Birthday Merrill, thanks for being you, and putting up with me! I heart you!

New Word Wednesday

I'm not going to do this every week, but I could not resist today!

The new word of the day is...

Feckless

1. Lacking purpose or vitality; feeble or ineffective.

2. Careless and irresponsible.

Thankful Thursday

Yesterday I had the flu...nothing fancy, just the 24 hour yucky flu! I always think, "I'd like to get sick so I could lose a few pounds" that is until I actually get sick...at which point I think,"WHAT WAS I THINKING???". Today I feel much better, tired and weak, but better. I've decided that it is really great to be sick when all of your kids are in school all day. What a blessing, I got to just lay in bed all day and be sick. So today I am thankful for my health, and the health of my family. I always like to think that no matter what, it could be worse and at least we are healthy. I am particularly happy that it did not fall on Halloween as I LOVE Halloween! I'm having a hard time really getting into the "spirit" this year, but the closer it gets the more excited I get. We carved pumpkins a few days ago, and had a really fun time. I love that my kids are all old enough to clean their own pumpkins out! Richard chose to carve the classic BYU logo...big shock, Riley got a little creative and carved a BYU helmet that made Richard wish he would have thought of that, and Lindsay carved a witch. Happy Halloween!

WHY?

As the past week has been swirling around in my head, I have had several thoughts come to me. WHY? Why is it that I realize the really great and amazing things people do when they die? I have been calling last week "death week" and even as I type I can't stop crying. Many of you heard about Heather Christensen who was the American Fork band instructor that saved so many lives of her students while sacrificing her own life.

I grew up with Heather in American Fork. I have fond memories of playing at her house while they lived in our ward. She moved when her parents got divorced and we eventually lost contact, even though she still lived in American Fork, and we attended the same schools, people just move on I guess. I attended her funeral and I can tell you it was AMAZING to say the least. What a tribute to a great person who influenced the lives of so many youth. At the end the American Fork band lined up outside the doors and played while the casket and family walked out. It was a beautiful ending to a wonderful service.

Shortly after I found out about Heathers passing, I was told about another friend who had passed away. It was again another friend who I had not been in contact with in several years...like 15. I was 14 or 15 when I met Michele Tucker.

She is the niece of my uncle Rande (married to my dad's sister Janice) We met one summer while doing 4-H and instantly became friends...probably much to our families dismay! We got into a little trouble including driving around town late at night while none of us had a drivers license. We never really did anything too terrible, I think that was probably the worst and if you ask me it's not that big of a deal. Although I may feel different when my kids reach that age! Oh we had some good times. I don't remember why we stopped hanging out, maybe it was our parents, maybe school started and since she lived in Provo and neither of us could drive it was difficult, probably a little bit of both. Michele was in the Military so at her funeral there was a sea of blue uniforms in attendance. As they took her casket out and the family followed the soldiers lined up outside saluting to pay their respects to her. Again...AMAZING!

As I reflect on the memories of Heather and Michele I can't help but feel sad because it has been so many years since I have spoken to either one of them. Not because I haven't thought about them, because I have thought about both of them and wondered how they were and what they were doing. WHY didn't I take the time to call them, or find them on Facebook? The REGRET I am feeling is overwhelming!

After finding out about Naki (see last post), I went to their family blog and spent some time reading about what a truly amazing husband and father he was. I can't even talk about him without crying. My heart is breaking for his darling little family, and I wish I could do more for them.

WHY didn't I take the time to find that out before he passed away? I knew he was a great father before, but not to the extent I do now. I mean really, how many Dads take their 6 daughters to watch and wait for 3 hours while they dance? I don't even do that! How many Dads blog about the fun weekend they had with their girls while Mom was away having "Mommy time"? Abby, his wife, is just as amazing and I have no doubt she will continue to support her girls in everything they do. As I read, I realized just how much I am NOT doing for my children. I'm not going to make a list for you, but believe you me, I am going to make some changes on the home front!

After this particularly emotionally draining week, it occurred to me that I should be taking the time to remember the really great, amazing, wonderful things everyone around me does. Especially here at home, where it's not always easy to see those things because they are so close. If someone in my family passed away today, what would be said at their funeral that would make me say to myself, "oh yeah, I remember that about them" I am going to make an effort to remember those things now, while I can still say to them, "remember..." and we can remember together. I am going to take the time to contact old friends I am thinking about, even if it's just through facebook. I believe that we think about certain people at certain times for a reason. I am not always good at listening to those promptings, but I am going to be better.

Nake Maile

At the dance studio Lindsay goes to there is the most darling family with 6 girls. Being the oldest of 5 girls and only being blessed with one of my own, I love to watch their parents interact with them. It brings back so many memories of growing up in a house full of girls.

I was deeply saddened to learn that Naki the father passed away unexpectedly on Friday morning at the age of 32, leaving behind Abby and their six beautiful daughters, ages 9-1.

Naki's obituary reads in part:

"Jared Amanaki Maile 1977 ~ 2009 The Maile family suffered a tragic and unexpected loss on Friday, October 16, 2009, when their husband, father, son and brother, Jared Amanaki Maile, passed away. Naki's great qualities are without number and as diverse as the people who loved him. Certainly our hearts and minds are filled with fond and loving memories as we reflect on his life. Suffice it to say he was a great man, who loved the Lord and his family. Naki truly spent his last days "in the service of his fellow beings," as he labored to raise funds and supplies for victims of the Pacific tsunamis that struck Samoa, American Samoa and Tonga. He possessed a great soul. While Naki loved many, his heart only ever belonged to one - his loving wife, Abby. Abby blessed Naki with six beautiful daughters, Emeline, Anamalia, Elenoa Lose, Lesieli, Evaloni, and Meleane. Naki loved these girls, all seven of them, with all of his heart. He is also survived by his loving parents, Maati and Temutisa, and his brothers Rex and Maati Jr., and his sister Ruby. As you can imagine, Abby will face many challenges in the days, months, and years ahead, not the least of which is raising six young girls. We invite you to help ease her burden by making a donation at any Wells Fargo location (the Naki Maile Family account), or by visiting www.nakifamily.com. No amount is too small. "Goodbye Mr. Mom till we see you again."

Although I don't know this family on a very personal level, my heart aches for them. If you have the means and desire to help ease some of the burden in this situation, please make a donation, no matter how large or small.

Please PRAY for this family.

http://www.nakifamily.com/

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally..

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.