WHY?

As the past week has been swirling around in my head, I have had several thoughts come to me. WHY? Why is it that I realize the really great and amazing things people do when they die? I have been calling last week "death week" and even as I type I can't stop crying. Many of you heard about Heather Christensen who was the American Fork band instructor that saved so many lives of her students while sacrificing her own life.

I grew up with Heather in American Fork. I have fond memories of playing at her house while they lived in our ward. She moved when her parents got divorced and we eventually lost contact, even though she still lived in American Fork, and we attended the same schools, people just move on I guess. I attended her funeral and I can tell you it was AMAZING to say the least. What a tribute to a great person who influenced the lives of so many youth. At the end the American Fork band lined up outside the doors and played while the casket and family walked out. It was a beautiful ending to a wonderful service.

Shortly after I found out about Heathers passing, I was told about another friend who had passed away. It was again another friend who I had not been in contact with in several years...like 15. I was 14 or 15 when I met Michele Tucker.

She is the niece of my uncle Rande (married to my dad's sister Janice) We met one summer while doing 4-H and instantly became friends...probably much to our families dismay! We got into a little trouble including driving around town late at night while none of us had a drivers license. We never really did anything too terrible, I think that was probably the worst and if you ask me it's not that big of a deal. Although I may feel different when my kids reach that age! Oh we had some good times. I don't remember why we stopped hanging out, maybe it was our parents, maybe school started and since she lived in Provo and neither of us could drive it was difficult, probably a little bit of both. Michele was in the Military so at her funeral there was a sea of blue uniforms in attendance. As they took her casket out and the family followed the soldiers lined up outside saluting to pay their respects to her. Again...AMAZING!

As I reflect on the memories of Heather and Michele I can't help but feel sad because it has been so many years since I have spoken to either one of them. Not because I haven't thought about them, because I have thought about both of them and wondered how they were and what they were doing. WHY didn't I take the time to call them, or find them on Facebook? The REGRET I am feeling is overwhelming!

After finding out about Naki (see last post), I went to their family blog and spent some time reading about what a truly amazing husband and father he was. I can't even talk about him without crying. My heart is breaking for his darling little family, and I wish I could do more for them.

WHY didn't I take the time to find that out before he passed away? I knew he was a great father before, but not to the extent I do now. I mean really, how many Dads take their 6 daughters to watch and wait for 3 hours while they dance? I don't even do that! How many Dads blog about the fun weekend they had with their girls while Mom was away having "Mommy time"? Abby, his wife, is just as amazing and I have no doubt she will continue to support her girls in everything they do. As I read, I realized just how much I am NOT doing for my children. I'm not going to make a list for you, but believe you me, I am going to make some changes on the home front!

After this particularly emotionally draining week, it occurred to me that I should be taking the time to remember the really great, amazing, wonderful things everyone around me does. Especially here at home, where it's not always easy to see those things because they are so close. If someone in my family passed away today, what would be said at their funeral that would make me say to myself, "oh yeah, I remember that about them" I am going to make an effort to remember those things now, while I can still say to them, "remember..." and we can remember together. I am going to take the time to contact old friends I am thinking about, even if it's just through facebook. I believe that we think about certain people at certain times for a reason. I am not always good at listening to those promptings, but I am going to be better.